Many Christians attend Church for a long time, some for most of their lives, and many have heard sermons, classes, songs, and other messages like the following...

"You’re a child of the King!”

"You’re more than a conqueror!”

"You’re the head, not the tail!”

"You have the victory!”

"You’re a new creation!”

What about Christians who struggle with addictions, anger, anxiety, burnout, depression, perfectionism, poor self-worth, or shame? Do those Christians feel like a victorious conqueror?

From my experience counseling and coaching for over 30 years, I can tell you they often feel more like: “I’m a mess.” "I'm a failure." "I'm not a good Christian." Is that you?

Maybe you’re wondering if something is really wrong with you because it seems like everybody else at church is happy and “victorious.” But you don’t want anybody at church to know what's going on with you, right?

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

There are a lot of wounded Christians suffering from the same issues as you, and they hide it.

Why do wounded Christians hide their problems?

Christians keep their problems hidden because they’re ashamed. They’re ashamed because they’re afraid that if somebody finds out about their problems, they’ll be rejected by a pastor, church leader, husband, wife, friend, or other Christians.

Why do wounded Christians believe they’ll be rejected because of their problems?

Many wounded Christians believe that as a Christian, you’re not supposed to have problems like addictions, anger, anxiety, burnout, depression, perfectionism, poor self-worth, or shame – but they do.

Why do wounded Christians believe they’re not supposed to suffer from addictions, anger, anxiety, burnout, depression, perfectionism, poor self-worth, or shame?

Wounded Christians believe they’re not supposed to have those problems because a preacher, pastor, teacher, elder, brother, or sister convinced them – if you’re living as a Christian should, you will not have those problems.

And here comes that inner voice…

“Am I really a Christian?”

“Am I a good Christian?”

“Is God mad at me?”

“What do I do?”

It can get worse because, week after week, you go to church, smile and sing, and do all the Christian stuff, and then you go home and fall back into your same secret problems and the loneliness that comes with it.

Then, maybe, you get the nerve to tell a church leader your problem, and the leader, who’s someone who cares about you but hasn't had specialized training in childhood trauma, gives advice that, though well-meant, doesn't quite reach the real cause. Then, you end up thinking…

"I don’t have enough faith."

"I don’t pray enough."

"I don’t love the Lord enough."

"Maybe I'm not really a Christian!"

It’s no mystery, then, why wounded Christians would hide their problems.

How do I know these things about wounded Christians?

I know these things because I was a pastor in a Church setting for many years, and every day I worked to help people like you. But a pastor wears many hats and does many things, and I just wanted to help God’s people get well.

That’s why I switched from being a traditional pastor to a pastoral counselor and coach, and I specialize in helping wounded Christians who suffer from addictions, anger, anxiety, burnout, depression, perfectionism, poor self-worth, and shame, usually as a result of unresolved childhood trauma & abuse.

I also understand that the source of your problems isn't always your fault.

As a child, you may have experienced physical, sexual, or verbal abuse. You may have grown up in a home where mom or dad or both were an alcoholic or drug addict. You may have been raised in a harsh military home or suffered the divorce of parents you loved.

All of those conditions can create the same type of trauma in a child that can predispose them to future problems.

What most wounded Christians seldom realize is that those traumatic things that happened to them as a child can still affect them today – even after they’ve become a Christian.

How do I know unresolved childhood trauma can continue to affect adults even after they become a Christian?

For over three decades, I’ve specialized in helping Christians who struggle with addictions, anger, anxiety, burnout, depression, perfectionism, poor self-worth, or shame due to unresolved childhood trauma caused by adverse childhood experiences such as verbal, physical, or sexual abuse, neglect, abandonment, exposure to violence, or substance abuse.

I'm talking about Christians in every congregation; you'd never know the issues they struggle with just by looking at them. Yet, they continue to struggle.

I know the problem intimately, and aside from direct ministry as a pastor, counselor, and coach to Christians still affected by abuse & trauma, I'm also a Board-Certified Christian Life Coach (BCCLC), Professional Mental Health Coach (PMHC), Certified Trauma-Informed Coach (CTIC), and recognized by the International Board of Christian Care, the Board of Christian Life Coaching, the American Association of Christian Counselors, and the International Christian Coaching Association.

So, with these problems, how can you find peace? How can you feel safe, accepted, and part of the church without feeling judged?

I understand how you feel. Wounded Christians need a different type of care compared to trauma-impacted non-Christians. That’s why I created MySoulSteps.

Now you have a way to understand what happened to you, what led you into the struggles you face, and what can help you find peace, feel safe, feel accepted, and get better, all without judgment.

MySoulSteps is my life's work created to help Christians toward emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.

MySoulSteps differs from many processes; it's not therapy, but a Christ-centered, step-by-step path to wellness. MySoulSteps is also not meant to replace professional healthcare or supplant the work of a therapist or counselor; rather, MySoulSteps is a 24/7 adjunct resource for education, encouragement, guidance, and fellowship.

I'd like to help you through MySoulSteps.